Week 432 // To Be Struck

by Mount Everest

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I saw a movie recently about a little boy who loved to draw. The boy's life wasn't like mine in many ways except for that. While all kids who draw use it as an escape, the boy in film had fair cause to flee his circumstances into the solace of his art. I, on the other hand, was supported and encouraged at every turn. Nonetheless, I found an elemental familiarity in the boy's closeness to paper and line, and the sound and texture of those things. I drew ceaselessly from the time I could hold a pencil until I reached my mid-twenties. At that point it dwindled, and then it stopped.

There is something in this song about adulthood and the deconstruction of wonder as the antithesis of the feeling I had when I drew. Today, I make pictures on a computer for work. I like making them, and they look nice, but they're also pretty sterile. I can still find the wonder lost to my visual practice when I play music. Perhaps this is because of the deep physicality of sound; its liquidity and vibration work their way into my body in a way I can't turn from. But at some point I learned to see the world as a grownup sees it, and I lost some of the sight I once had. This song laments a loss, but also celebrates having had the thing to begin with. I'm so happy I drew, and I hope I draw again some day when the time is right.

~M.E.

P.S. The picture here is a detail from a piece by Harold Lindsey, who is my nephew, and perhaps a budding artist in his own right. It is on our refrigerator and I like to look at it while I cook.

lyrics

When you're a kid
And you're in love with your art
You fall in love
With the placemat at the restaurant
You trace the shapes
In the branches of trees
You pledge your heart
To an electric pencil sharpener

Oh I couldn't see yet
Oh I didn't see the world yet
Learning to see
Was to be struck with a curse
And to be left in darkness

You see the trees
The loveliest trees in the world
You see the edge of the night
The darkest night in the world
You see the stars
You're at the top of the world
You touch the sun with your hand
And you're in love again
You're in love again
You're in love again

Oh I couldn't see yet
Oh I didn't see the world yet
Learning to see
Was to be struck with a curse
And to be left in darkness

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released February 25, 2019

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Mount Everest Brooklyn, New York

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